Your online dating profile is the perfect place to be honest about your looks, your personality, your likes and dislikes. It is also the perfect place to lie through your teeth.
As I sat in front of my computer ready to create my online profile I wondered what I was letting myself in for, but as always I had my friend Melissa poking me in my side saying, “Come on , let’s get started. Your dream man could be about to log on as we speak.”
“Hmm,” I wasn’t so sure, but as much to keep her quiet as anything else I began filling in my information. Name and sex, well that was straight forward enough. Age? 24, I smiled at Melissa. “It sounds so much better than 28, don’t you think?”
Now onto some of the trickier questions. What should I write in the about me section? I suppose I could write about my love of animals, that I like long walks on the beach (What a cliché), that I’m vegan.
“Stop right there!” Melissa boomed in my ear.
“What now?” I looked offended
“You can’t write that you’re vegan. Men will assume you have hairy legs and only eat lentils. They won’t want to date an unwashed hippy will they?”
“But I’m not unwashed and I do shave my legs. And anyway I don’t even like lentils that much. If they think I only eat salad they will assume I’m a cheap date. Maybe that will appeal to them. They don’t need to know I have an appetite like a horse until later.”
Melissa glared at me.
“Fine.” I shrugged, deleting the vegan bit and replacing it with “likes to party”. That isn’t even true. I much prefer staying in with a nice cup of soy hot chocolate than going out, but I am meant to be 24 and 24 year olds like to party.
“Now what about bra size?” Melissa raised her eyebrows as she stared directly at my small chest.
“Oh we are not including that!” I gasped.
“Shall we say 34C?” She asked as she leaned over me and began to type.
“But that is no where near true. I’m an A at best.”
“That is where padding comes in.” She smiled and I sighed deeply, wondering what kind of men I was going to attract with this ad and how I was going to live up to it.
